Shawyna's Blog

Blog #10

smcha80 — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 20:39:02 +0000

After each week of the class ends and a new week begins, I realize how much all of these topics have a connection to my life. I have never personally be sexually or physcially abused or assaulted but the other women I know have. One woman I know was a teenager at the time she was beaten by her boyfriend, and two more were molested by family friends. I feel fortunate to have never experienced such horrific abuse but because they were all close to me, I have witnessed the impact this type of abuse can have on a woman both immediately and for the rest of their lives. As children and teenagers, molestation can effect behavior and also sometimes results in early sexual activity. Both of the two girls who were molested engaged in this type of activity, got in trouble in school and got pregnant early in life. They have been forever scarred by the abuse and have real difficulty with trust and relationships. The teenaged girl who was beat by her boyfriend was quiet about it at first, never letting anyone know about what was happening-mostly out of fear of being hurt worse next time and out of shame for letting it happen. She ended up becoming pregnant by him and the abuse continued. After the baby was about six months old, he turned his abuse towards her one evening. That was the last straw for her mother, she packed up their things, got a restraining order and took him to court for full custody. She told me, “If he hits me, I can handle it–but he is not going to touch my daughter!” She still lives in fear that he will snap again someday and has a hard time with trusting men and has remained a single mother. To take advantage and physcially hurt a woman or child is a very severe offense. Its ramifications for the victim are lifelong and put constant strain on their relationships and self-esteem and self-respect.

Blog #9

smcha80 — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 14:47:39 +0000

Growing up, my mother always stressed the importance of acting like lady. She made rules about what I was allowed to do and at what age, like I wasn’t allowed to shave my legs until I turned fourteen or wear make up until I was sixteen. But when I finally was able to do these things, it made me feel like I was turning into a woman. In today’s society, girls are growing up so much faster than they did in the eighties, when I was growing up. I think of the toddler pageants I run across on television where the little girls who can’t be more than four or five years old are wearing tons of make up, complicated hairstyles and provacative grown up clothing. The pressure these girls have to be beautiful, sexy winners while being a child is disgusting to me. We can blame the media all we want about the way little girls want to dress today but when parents put their children through the pressure of a pageant that forces them to grow up becoming superficial and vain, I think that is where the real problem lies. My mother always instilled in me the values of natural beauty, even when I was allowed to wear make up she stressed the fact that I didn’t really need it. Those words stick with me today. To those who really know me and want to know me, they can see the real me daily because I do not wear a mask of what society wants me to believe is beautiful. Internal and external confidence in who you are is truly sexy!

Blog #8

smcha80 — Thu, 29 Oct 2009 17:09:47 +0000

The section we are discussing right now on work, inside and outside the home is a very interesting subject to me. It still amazes me that although we have come so far in moving towards equal treatment in out endeavors that we would still have the struggle with sharing of housework. Although I do most of the housework in my living situation, it is mostly because I am not working and focusing on school. But I would like to think that when I do start working that I will be helped with this responsibility. Would hiring a maid be a way to help take the burden of housework off the minds of everyone? But is it worth hiring someone to clean your house when you could just work together and take care of it yourselves. Since family structure has changed from the times when the husband went to work everyday and came home to his wife who had dinner on the table as well as a clean house. I think it is time that we change the way we handle the normal household chores. No one really likes to do housework, it’s a fact, but I personally enjoy the results of a good house cleaning. At my house, who ever makes dinner does not have to clean up afterwards. It is a rule that helps to encourage someone to offer to cook and not worry about the clean up. It also makes it so we all are responsible for part of the meal. Working together, I feel is great and to do so without conflict is even better! Since I do most of the cleaning around the house, I do have frustrations when people do not pick up after themselves, it makes the job so much bigger and also makes for a pissy Shawyna. I wish there was a fail-proof way to handle it, but until I figure that out, I guess I just have to make do.

Blog #7

smcha80 — Thu, 22 Oct 2009 13:13:03 +0000

So far, out of all the sections we have worked on, this one has impacted me the most. Growing up, my family structure was nowhere near traditional. My mother worked and my stepfather took care of the kids and the cooking. I think having grown up this way, has helped me to desire a less than traditional family lifestyle when I have children in the future. But lately, my life has taken an interesting turn, I am currently not working but just taking classes while my boyfriend and roommate (another guy), work full-time. I have found myself cooking, cleaning, doing laundry for everyone and tackling my daily studying. The part that surprises me the most is how much I actually enjoy taking care of a household. I know that I do not have children right now and it’s more like I am picking up after grown men, but it’s the aspect of taking care of people that really makes me feel good. I would someday like to have a family and I am really starting to get excited about the prospect. But getting married still kind of scares me, I guess I am afraid of losing myself. I know that this does not have to happen and I know that my current boyfriend would do his best to support me in everything I want to pursue. So maybe this is an irrational fear. After watching my mother go through two marriages that she put every part of herself into only to have them both cheat on her, I am less than thrilled about putting myself through that. This is why I am more than happy just living the life we have together now, working together to better ourselves as individuals. If someday we chose to make it official, fine. But if not, fine too. I am so happy to live in a day and age that I can make this decision. With the rate of divorce constantly on the rise, I would rather not be a statistic and have to go through the emotional pain and financial strain of a divorce. Maybe I am cynical, but it just makes sense to me.

Blog #6

smcha80 — Wed, 14 Oct 2009 12:25:10 +0000

I chose to put my real reaction to the section we just finished on the blog site instead of in blackboard. I know that people have very strong opinions about abortion and sometimes it is difficult to be completely open to other people’s opinion. Personally, I feel that after reading about what women went through prior to Roe V. Wade, is pretty much terrifying. Not only did they feel ashamed by needing to get an abortion, they had to go to great extremes to have the procedure done and most times risked their own lives. I really believe that the Women’s Movement has helped to advance the state of women in so many ways. With the introduction of birth control and condoms, the demand for abortions has been dramatically reduced. After reading this section, I am beginning to understand even further what women went through and how difficult life must have been to not have a say in anything, not even when you have children. I found it interesting in the reading how easily the men (mostly doctors) said that the women should just abstain from sex to avoid becoming pregnant. I can only imagine with the way everything was for women that that type of defiance would not go over well in the household. I feel so fortunate to live in a time that I can truly take advantage of everything those courageous women fought for. I am able to live in a time when I can postpone having children until I finish my education and find a good job in a career of my choosing. I thank those women who paved this path for me.

Blog #5

smcha80 — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 17:37:41 +0000

On the Colbert Report last week, Sheryl Wudunn author of Half the Sky, discussed giving women the opportunity to have half of everything that men have. She talked about how women have been challenged and have faced brutality throughout the centuries. After Stephen Colbert hilariously asked for examples, Wudunn offered a very inspiring story of a woman from Pakistan. This woman was beaten by her husband daily. He was unemployed so he took his frustrations out on her, physically. After having her second female child, her husband’s mother threatened that she might never be able to produce a son so he should think about getting a new wife. The woman applied for a small loan of only$65 and started her own embroidery business. She ended up becoming very successful and needed to expand her business to fulfill the demand. She ended up hiring around 3o families in her village, including her husband as well. Wudunn goes on to discuss the results you can expect when you give a loan to a woman or educate a girl, they will use their resources to better themselves and their families. She will follow through and become successful. Wudunn feels that one of the best ways to combat terrorism and poverty is to invest in women and girls. She also finds that when women are given charge of the finances, they are more likely to use the money for more practical purposes than when men are in charge of the finances. Below is the link to this video, I found it very informative and entertaining. This book sounds like it is a tool of great inspiration and motivation for women as well as a wake up call for men to see the value of a woman’s determination when given the opportunity to prove herself.

http://www.colbertnation.com/the-colbert-report-videos/250398/september-28-2009/sheryl-wudunn

Blog #4

smcha80 — Thu, 24 Sep 2009 17:26:52 +0000

After doing a few of these blogs, I am finding myself noticing a great deal more about our world and how not only women but other segments of our population are impacted by discrimination. It is interesting to me how much society leans on free speech to speak ill of those who are different. After doing the reading the last few weeks, I realize how much I really do not see in the world around me. I never really noticed how much we use race or sexual orientation as a way to describe someone. It’s like we all automatically assume that when we talk about a man or a woman, that he or she is white, able-bodied and heterosexual–because it is mainstream. So if anyone’s characteristics deviate from the norm, we have to clarify by saying-a black woman, handicapped teenager or a gay man. To define someone by their sexual orientation, which in no way describes their outward physical appearance is unfair in my opinion. Unfortunately, this is a result of the norms society has formed where differences must be acknowledged and similarities are assumed. I sometimes wonder if we could come up with another way to define a person without acknowledging these elements. In times when race/sexual orientation have no bearing on what the person is being mentioned for, why does it have to be brought up? Why assume that whenever I talk about a woman that she is white? Do we have to reference a person’s sexuality when we talk about them also? How can we define eachother in a way that plays up on our strengths and positive aspects or even our personalities–without acknowledging those differences that are apparent in each and every one of us?

Blog #3

smcha80 — Thu, 17 Sep 2009 14:29:46 +0000

Before taking this class, my boyfriend and I were watching television through the internet site, www.hulu.com while we ran across a documentary that left us both feeling numb. You can watch this video free online at http://www.hulu.com/watch/69769/global-voices-the-day-my-god-died, it is 54 minutes long and is from the PBS program, Global Voices. Before watching this documentary, I didn’t know very much about the world sex trade or even that there was one. The basis for this documentary is to show what is happening in Bombay, India (as well as other countries) and what these girls have gone through after being kidnapped and forced into becoming prostitutes. In this documentary, one of the brothels was run by a woman….yes, she allowed these girls (most between the ages of 11 and 19) to be forced to have sex with whoever came into their room or they would be beaten or starved. I learned a great deal about what these girls go through on a daily basis-raped, forced to have sex with up to 20 men in one day, becoming pregnant and having crude abortions forced upon them, starved, becoming infected with sexually transmitted diseases and most of them HIV. Most of the girls had to resort to drugs and alcohol to get them through their daily ordeals. During the documentary, we meet two women from organizations that were put together to help these girls be freed from their enslavement. The saddest part of this entire ordeal is that the girls that were freed are unable to return home because their villages and families are not convinced that they were forced into this lifestyle. Some of these ostracized young women go to live on a compound where they are cared for and even attend school. The ones infected with HIV are treated and are at peace for what little time they have left.

After watching this video, I realize how fortunate I am and makes me want to help in some way. By sharing this video with all of you in this setting of this Women’s Studies course, I hope that since our eyes are opening that maybe we can try to think of ways to save other girls from this fate. Please take some time to watch this video…it is hard to see it but it means that one more person is aware of what is going on.

Blog #2

smcha80 — Tue, 08 Sep 2009 21:21:41 +0000

I have been trying to keep my ears and eyes open for what the world tells me that would apply to what we have learned in class. I have heard some pretty ridiculous things from people all said in a joking manner. My boyfriend works with a man that is married and has two daughters and a son. I got to meet his wife this weekend, a quiet petite woman who must be a saint to put up with the way her husband puts down women at pretty much everyother phrase that comes out of his mouth. The one comment I heard this weekend that really stuck out and really made me think about the way jokes can really offend. He was talking to my boyfriend about what he told his son when he was a little boy about why he has a penis and his sisters do not. He said, “Son, the doctor’s pull off the ‘tails’ of the stupid ones, so that’s why you have one and your sisters don’t.” Of course, this type of statement caused an uproar within the males that were with us but his wife and I looked at each other and shook our heads. I like to think that he doesn’t really feel this way, but who can really say, if you say it-you might just think it. I don’t have children as of yet but I would really appreciate them to be taught to respect women (especially their family members) and never to say things like that even in a joking manner. You really never know who you might offend. I am sure if i followed him around I could create a series for my blog of all types of ‘women are stupid’ jokes. But who really wants to see that?!

Well, here goes nothing! (Blog 1)

smcha80 — Mon, 24 Aug 2009 13:02:56 +0000

Hello! I have never used a blog before, I guess I have never really had a reason to. Who know’s maybe after this one, I will become addicted to blogging and do it regularly. -S