Blog #10

After each week of the class ends and a new week begins, I realize how much all of these topics have a connection to my life.  I have never personally be sexually or physcially abused or assaulted but the other women I know have.  One woman I know was a teenager at the time she was beaten by her boyfriend, and two more were molested by family friends.  I feel fortunate to have never experienced such horrific abuse but because they were all close to me, I have witnessed the impact this type of abuse can have on a woman both immediately and for the rest of their lives.  As children and teenagers, molestation can effect behavior and also sometimes results in early sexual activity.  Both of the two girls who were molested engaged in this type of activity, got in trouble in school and got pregnant early in life.  They have been forever scarred by the abuse and have real difficulty with trust and relationships.  The teenaged girl who was beat by her boyfriend was quiet about it at first, never letting anyone know about what was happening-mostly out of fear of being hurt worse next time and out of shame for letting it happen.  She ended up becoming pregnant by him and the abuse continued.  After the baby was about six months old, he turned his abuse towards her one evening.  That was the last straw for her mother, she packed up their things, got a restraining order and took him to court for full custody.  She told me, “If he hits me, I can handle it–but he is not going to touch my daughter!”  She still lives in fear that he will snap again someday and has a hard time with trusting men and has remained a single mother. To take advantage and physcially hurt a woman or child is a very severe offense.  Its ramifications for the victim are lifelong and put constant strain on their relationships and self-esteem and self-respect.

Blog #9

Growing up, my mother always stressed the importance of acting like lady.  She made rules about what I was allowed to do and at what age, like I wasn’t allowed to shave my legs until I turned fourteen or wear make up until I was sixteen. But when I finally was able to do these things, it made me feel like I was turning into a woman.  In today’s society, girls are growing up so much faster than they did in the eighties, when I was growing up.  I think of the toddler pageants I run across on television where the little girls who can’t be more than four or five years old are wearing tons of make up, complicated hairstyles and provacative grown up clothing.  The pressure these girls have to be beautiful, sexy winners while being a child is disgusting to me.  We can blame the media all we want about the way little girls want to dress today but when parents put their children through the pressure of a pageant that forces them to grow up becoming superficial and vain, I think that is where the real problem lies.  My mother always instilled in me the values of natural beauty, even when I was allowed to wear make up she stressed the fact that I didn’t really need it.  Those words stick with me today.   To those who really know me and want to know me, they can see the real me daily because I do not wear a mask of what society wants me to believe is beautiful.  Internal and external confidence in who you are is truly sexy!